Dear Coleen: I’ve taken him back but my family can’t accept it

Dear Coleen

My eight-year marriage hit the rocks about 18 months ago when I found out my husband was seeing other women.

He didn’t become attached to anyone in particular, but he had several flings and lots of meaningless sex.

He’d been depressed beforehand and was a bit directionless in life, and we were struggling to communicate.

Having two young children didn’t help.

I ended up throwing him out, as I couldn’t get through to him and he wouldn’t open up to me. I’d had enough.

During this time my parents and siblings were wonderful – they supported the kids and me, and went out of their way to ease the stress.

Then about six months ago, my husband said he wanted to move back home and try again.

He’d been having therapy and realised he’d never dealt with family trauma from his childhood, including an alcoholic father and domestic violence.

He said this was at the root of his behaviour, but that he was working through it and was sorry for ­everything he’d put us through.

I eventually let him move back (a couple of nights a week for the first few weeks) and things have been going really well.

The problem is my family, who won’t give him another chance.

They just despise him for what he’s put us through and don’t even want to be around him.

It’s not helping and I don’t know what I can say to them to change their attitude. What do you suggest?

Coleen says

Your parents and siblings are being protective because they love you (not him), so it’s highly emotional for them.

You can’t force them to change their attitude, but perhaps in time, if things carry on going well and they can see that you’re all happy, they’ll gradually come round.

It’s still quite early days in terms of his therapy and rebuilding your relationship.

You believe in him and are willing to give him another chance, so that’s what you have to focus on.

It sounds as if you’ve been sensible by starting off letting him stay a few nights a week and taking things slowly.

Source: Read Full Article

Toronto man charged with 1st-degree murder after estranged wife dies in machete attack

A 38-year-old Toronto man has been charged with first-degree murder after allegedly attacking his former spouse with a machete.

Police said emergency crews were called a property on Fishery Road, near Morrish and Ellesmere roads and west of Meadowvale Road, at around 6:25 p.m. on Wednesday

“Witnesses observed a male suspect running around chasing the female victim with a machete,” Duty Insp. Stacey Davis told reporters soon after the incident.

“There [are] substantial injuries to the victim.”

Twenty-seven-year-old Tharshika Jeganathan died at the scene.

Officers said the victim and the suspect were in a “previous domestic relationship.”

Police said the accused later drove to the 42 Division and surrendered himself to officers.

Sasikaran Thanapalasingam was charged with first-degree murder and he appeared in court on Thursday. He was remanded into custody and is scheduled to appear in court again on Wednesday. Thanapalasingam’s lawyer said his client required medical attention.

According to Thanapalasingam’s Facebook page, he and Jeganathan were married in India in 2015. The couple appeared happy and posed for pictures, including one the groom captioned with, “I am in love.”

But court records obtained by Global News show the couple had a history of domestic abuse. Thanapalasingam was previously charged with assaulting his wife in March 2017 and was released on bail with conditions. Sources said Jeganathan had moved to Canada from Sri Lanka to be with her husband just months before.

Just two months after the assault charge, Thanapalasingam was charged and convicted with breaching the conditions of his release. He was sentenced to a conditional discharge and probation, including a condition that he have no contact with his wife for a year. He was acquitted on the original assault charge.

Meanwhile, it’s believed the victim worked at the Dollarama and was walking home after her shift when she was attacked. The company issued a statement on Thursday, saying staff are “deeply shocked and saddened.” Grief counsellors were brought in to support Jeganathan’s co-workers.

Source: Read Full Article