I'm scared my wife will catch me having sex with her cousin on our settee

DEAR DEIDRE:  SINCE lockdown began I have been having sex with my wife’s cousin.

It is amazing but I’m scared my wife will find out.

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I’m a man of 38 and my wife is 35. We have three children still at home. 

I’m a delivery driver and my wife works for her cousin, who has an online handbag business. My wife’s uncle — her cousin’s father — got the virus early on.

It was crucial that my wife and her cousin kept the business going so she moved in with us for lockdown. 

She is 39, attractive and for some reason never married. From the start, there was sexual tension between us.

Around week four of lockdown I caught her staring at me. She became more touchy-feely with me and seemed to bump into me on purpose. 


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One night I was watching a film after my wife had gone to bed as she gets tired with the kids around all the time.

Her cousin came downstairs for some water, wearing a silky dressing gown.

She seemed interested in what I was watching and sat next to me on the settee, saying she couldn’t see the TV properly from the other chair.

Then she started flirting with me. I wanted to see how far she would go, thinking she would stop any moment and feel embarrassed. But she kept on until we were kissing.

We had exhilarating sex twice, on the settee, while my wife was asleep in our bedroom.

The same thing happened the next night. She had her robe open when she came downstairs this time and she had very sexy underwear on.

This lockdown has been great for me but I’m starting to worry about playing such a dangerous game.

If my wife finds out she would probably quit her job and that would have a big impact on us financially.

I’ve realised I’m in the wrong but we are at it like rabbits every chance we get.

DEIDRE SAYS: Never mind her job, there is a big chance your wife would quit you if she knew.

You are risking your marriage and one massive family fallout – on top of the money worries. Think of the effect on your children. 

Tell your wife’s cousin that sex with her was a mistake and it must stop. Explain that you are not going to leave your wife and she would do better to find somebody free to have a relationship with her.

Assuming no one in your family circle is isolating, it is best for her to move back home now.

It has been thrilling for you but what is so bad about your own relationship? Lost that spark? Have you been doing your fair share of the home-schooling?

My e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT will help you to address the stale spots.

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