DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I suggested becoming an escort I expected my husband to be outraged – instead he’s now my pimp.
I’m 37 and have been married for eight years. My husband is 43 and until now has treated me well.
A few months ago we were struggling to make ends meet.
One day I was out for coffee with my friend, who is an escort, and she said it could be an easy avenue to make quick cash.
I didn’t give it a second thought. However, when we couldn’t gather enough money to pay our mortgage, I mentioned it to my hubby.
I thought he would be angry but he jumped on the idea.
Before I knew it, he was helping me to set up an online profile.
To say that I was devastated was an understatement.
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Deep down I wanted him to protect and reassure me that I wouldn’t have to do such a thing.
I couldn’t believe it when he started coming home from work with new lingerie outfits for me to wear on dates.
He started selecting which men I would see and arranging our meetings.
He even drives me to and from my appointments.
I feel so used but I don’t think he realises how it’s destroying me. My love for him is fading and I’m struggling to look at him in the same way.
I don’t sleep with all my clients, some only want company, but I do have sex with some of them and my husband knows that.
I feel so dirty, and I hate what I have become, but I don’t know how to stop.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have found yourself sleeping with men for money and are feeling deeply ashamed, added to which you feel totally let down by your husband for being so readily compliant.
Your husband may simply be putting a brave face on the situation, while feeling bad that you are resorting to escort work.
But there is good news. You can stop this work.
Talk to him and explain there has been a huge communication breakdown.
Tell him how you feel and how concerned you are about his apparent enthusiasm.
I’m sending you my support packs Family Finances, which has plenty of financial support, and Looking After Your Relationship, which will help you communicate better.
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