Colton Underwood Hasn't Found An 'Emotional Connection' with Another Man Yet

“I never allowed myself to.”

Colton Underwood made headlines on Wednesday after coming out as gay during an interview on “Good Morning America.”

Underwood, who was “The Bachelor” on season 23 of the hit ABC series after appearing on Becca Kufrin’s season of “The Bachelorette,” opened up about what he’s looking for in a partner going forward.

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“I’ve still haven’t had an emotional connection with a man. I never allowed myself to,” the 29-year-old reality TV star told Robin Roberts. “It’s never been in my cards to let myself get there. I want to more than anything.”

“I’m looking for someone who can push me and challenge me in all the great ways,” Underwood emphasized when asked what he’s looking for in a partner. “I still have a long ways to go. I’m still learning.”

During Colton’s tell-all interview, he said decided to come out now was because he got to a place where he “would’ve rather died than say, ‘I’m gay,'” which he called his “wakeup call.”

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“There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up, and I didn’t think I was gonna wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up, and I did. I think for me that was my wake-up call. Like, this is your life, take back control,” he explained. “Beyond that — even just suicidal thoughts. I’m driving my car close to a cliff, like, ‘Oh if this goes off the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal.’ I don’t feel that anymore.”

In March of 2019, Colton and Cassie Randolph made it official after he gave her the final rose during his season of “The Bachelor.” The two stayed together for over a year. During that time he published a book called “The First Time,” where he thanked the reality show for helping him confirm his attraction to women.

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After the two split, Cassie accused Colton of monetizing the breakup for a new chapter in his book. She filed a restraining order against him, accused him of stalking her, tracking her car, and harassing her and her friends from an anonymous phone number. All charges were eventually dropped.

On “GMA,” Colton said his feelings for Cassie were real, but he also felt the need to apologize to her.

“I loved everything about her, and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were in going through that relationship with her because I obviously had an internal fight going on,” he said. “I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish that it wouldn’t have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.”

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