A MUM-OF-THREE has revealed she charges her teenage daughter £3,000 in rent – and spends it on her older child.
Posting on Mumsnet, the anonymous woman explained her 17-year-old daughter is giving away 25 per cent of her £12,000 wage while living at home and doing an apprenticeship.
But her son, who's 18, is off to uni and his parents will be sending him money towards his living costs – as his maintenance grant only covers two thirds of the rent.
The mum added: "So we will be in a position of taking money from DD (dear daughter) and sending money to DS (dear son).
"Which has totally changed the dynamic. I’m really conscious of causing resentment from DD who already suffers a bit with middle child syndrome and jealousy.
"If you’ve been in this situation what did you do? I want DD to contribute for lots of reasons, none of which go away just because DS now needs three more years of support.
"We had long conversations when she started work about contributing to the bills and food and how important it is to get used to not having your whole monthly wage to keep right from the start. I’d rather not go back on that."
And many mums were horrified, calling her "mean and unfair", "harsh", "shocking" and "pretty s***".
One wrote: "An apprenticeship wage at that age is very very low and I’d consider her still in a form of education. I think funding one at uni whilst taking money off a low wage apprentice is pretty s*** frankly."
A second said: "I'd also be furious if I was handing up money & my older brother was scott-free and being supported just because he chose to go to Uni. Lots of people work and are in education at the same time.
"An apprenticeship is also a form an education and you're in danger of placing your son higher in the pecking order in your DD's eyes just because he chose a third level institution. You can't teach one responsibility and not the other."
I'd also be furious if I was handing up money & my older brother was scott-free and being supported just because he chose to go to Uni. You can't teach one responsibility and not the other
While a third commented: "25% seems harsh. I don't know how I'd feel if I was in her shoes. I'd expect DB (dear brother) to get a job and pay his own rent for a start."
A fourth wrote: "I’m blown away you’re charging when she’s on £12k a year! Seems really mean and unfair. They’ve got plenty of time in life to pay rent and mortgages and bills."
Another said: "Omg I can't believe people actually charge their CHILD rent. Wow. Shocked me."
And one mum wrote: "If DD is on an an apprenticeship scheme you should not be charging her for anything. As it's not a full time job and she isn't even 18 I would consider that like being at school. I don't see why DS can't get a part time job …"
But some backed the mum and said: "I don't think you're being unfair."
One wrote: "It's a completely different situation – she is earning, he is not".
While a second said: "It's peanuts compared to what rent and board actually costs. I'm glad my parents DID have this thought process, never been in debt since."
And another mum commented: "No working adult should live rent-free, so in terms of your DD I think you've got things pretty much spot on.
"If she's got £200 in her hand to play with each week then she's not badly off.
"Uni is different because it's so expensive and your circs as parents are taken into consideration.
"So the onus is on you to top up the grant – he'd get more (I assume) if you couldn't afford this."
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