Night Crumbs

Thanks to leaked footage, we all found out early that James Holzhauer’s King of Jeopardy! reign has come to an end after 33 episodes. Dude didn’t beat Ken Jennings’ record. This is good news for those Jeopardy! watchers who were about to file a police report on James’ tongue for continually terrorizing them through the TV screen. On the other hand, this is bad news for you sucio ass freaks who couldn’t get enough of James’ tongue constantly doing the Miley Cyrus – Just Jared

This high-brow Fast & Furious piece of Oscar bait starring Christian Bale and Matt Damon looks boring. I mean, the only Ford v. Ferrari I want to see is a wrestling match between Lita Ford and Tina Ferrari from GLOW – Lainey Gossip 

Godzilla didn’t exactly stomp on its competition at the box office, and that makes sense, because why watch another Godzilla remake when you can stay at home and watch that cold reptile turd of a Godzilla movie starring Matthew Broderick (why did I just remind myself that I actually paid money to see that mess in the theater?) – Pajiba

After watching international treasure John Waters’ interview on Real Time, I have one question and it’s: Where’s the petition to get John Waters to replace Bill Maher? – Towleroad

And just like that, hard-up tramps in Austin are putting “Free Popsicles Here” signs on their front lawns – Kenneth In The (212)

Sofia Richie is serving Nick Jr. remake of Spring Breakers – Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Lawrence’s engagement ring made its red carpet green turf debut – Popoholic

I see that Miley Cyrus has fully pulled out her most exquisite ho shit ensembles from the cardboard box in her garage labeled “Bangerz Era” – Hollywood Tuna

This makes sense because who needs Valerie Malone when you’ve got Brenda Walsh?! – SOW

Every tennis trick has their own thoughts on the Serena Williams/Dominic Thiem mess, but I think we can all agree that he deserves some slow claps for that ultra dramatic way he grabbed his phone all bitchy-like before exiting – Celebitchy

Pic: ABC

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